The Fluffington File
Territory Map & Racket Ledger
How many households is your cat secretly billing?
Name your cat. Tap the houses on your block. We'll pull his cover identities, his feeding routes, and what he's extracting daily — and file it as a straight-faced criminal-intelligence dossier. He runs a bigger operation than you think. The vet already suspects. This just gives it a case number.
Open the case file →Sample case files
Real ledgers, not screenshots — assembled by the same file the app builds for your cat.
FILE #FLF-M-III
Territory Map & Racket Ledger
SUBJECT: Emperor Mochi III
KNOWN ALIASES: Emperor Mochi III, aka Poppet, aka Muffin, aka Monsieur, aka Marmalade
OPERATING JURISDICTION: 4 households, one block
STATUS: AT LARGE / FED
Feeding Routes
13:00 — #5 (Monsieur) — 1.5 cans
16:20 — #1 (Poppet) — 1.5 cans
18:00 — #3 (Muffin) — 2 cans
20:00 — #7 (Marmalade) — 1.5 cans ⚠ exposure risk
Racket Ledger
TOTAL DAILY TRIBUTE: 6.5 cans/day gross across the block
Audit Note
The vet has stopped asking. 6.5 cans a day, sourced across 4 sincere households, none of whom know the others exist. He is not overweight. He is a diversified feeding portfolio operating at scale.
Summary
Came home, was served a full measured meal, ate it, and looked up for more — his 4th sitting of the day. Reminder: at every address on this map, someone believes they are his only family. STATUS: at large / fed / owed nothing and demanding more.
FILE #FLF-D-III
Territory Map & Racket Ledger
SUBJECT: Emperor Dave III
KNOWN ALIASES: Emperor Dave III, aka Poppet, aka The Landlord, aka Biscuit, aka Colleague, aka Monsieur, aka Marmalade · 1 household declines to use any of these
OPERATING JURISDICTION: 8 households, one block
STATUS: AT LARGE / FED
Feeding Routes
06:15 — #6 (Fusspot) — declined (standards)
10:00 — #4 (Colleague) — 1 can
11:00 — #2 (The Landlord) — 2 cans
13:00 — #5 (Monsieur) — 1.5 cans
16:20 — #1 (Poppet) — 1.5 cans
18:00 — #3 (Biscuit) — 2 cans
20:00 — #7 (Marmalade) — 1 can ⚠ exposure risk
irreg — #8 (hostile) — surveillance only, 0 cans
Racket Ledger
TOTAL DAILY TRIBUTE: 9 cans/day gross across the block
Audit Note
The vet has stopped asking. 9 cans a day, sourced across 8 sincere households, none of whom know the others exist. He is not overweight. He is a diversified feeding portfolio operating at scale.
Summary
Returned to home residence at 21:10 and screamed at the food cupboard as though it had personally failed him. Had, by this count, eaten 9 cans across 8 addresses. Registered no guilt. Filed none. He looked at his owner like the owner was the strange one.
FILE #FLF-W-III
Territory Map & Racket Ledger
SUBJECT: Emperor Winston III
KNOWN ALIASES: Emperor Winston III, aka Mr. Business, aka Steve · 1 household declines to use any of these
OPERATING JURISDICTION: 4 households, one block
STATUS: AT LARGE / FED
Feeding Routes
06:15 — #6 (Fusspot) — declined (standards)
10:00 — #4 (Steve) — 1 can
11:00 — #2 (Mr. Business) — 2 cans
irreg — #8 (hostile) — surveillance only, 0 cans
Racket Ledger
TOTAL DAILY TRIBUTE: 3 cans/day gross across the block
Audit Note
Each household believes it feeds him "a little." Combined: 3 cans/day. The vet remains puzzled. He is not overfed. He is diversifying.
Summary
Sleeps sixteen hours a day and maintains, on that alone, the household belief that he "never goes far." He goes everywhere. He is home by dinner, and he wants dinner. RECOMMENDATION: none. He has won.